We bring to our romantic relationships many of our old “scripts” of how to be in a close relationship with someone important to us. These scripts operate outside of our ordinary awareness although we consciously feel the emotional charge of their presence.
The script might be that a close relationship means always having to defer to the needs of the other. Or it may be that getting close means losing your separate identity or independence. When we are with our partner we are aware of strong feelings, such as fear, anxiety, resentment, or guilt, but the scripts remain hidden.
My work with couples involves helping each partner identify and modify the outdated scripts and self-defeating behavioral strategies that are causing problems in your relationship. With increased awareness of one another’s vulnerabilities and self-protection strategies, you can begin to relate to each other with tenderness, compassion, and love.
Common problems with couples where therapy can help:
-Cycles of criticism and defensiveness
-Feeling judged, misunderstood, or rejected
by your partner
-Coping with important life changes, such as
births, deaths, job loss, and illness
-Trouble working together on household issues
(finances, child-rearing, chores, etc.)
-Loss of emotional connection
© 2017 Jim Rosati, LMFT. Therapist and counselor serving Oakland, Berkeley and the East Bay.